Sex Lives: A Guy Who Was a Late Bloomer and Is Now Dating Divorcées

When I moved back home, I met someone through online dating, which turned into a two-year relationship. The sex was great with her. She was the type of woman where the way she touched me and grabbed me was very much a turn-on. Like she was physically signaling to me how much she liked me. I have this memory of it. It felt like every time we would have sex, she would almost dance into the bedroom, just like excited for it. She’s probably the closest bond I’ve had with someone I’ve been with, so sex would last longer. We were pretty open about how we talked about sex, so we learned each other’s bodies a lot more. She wasn’t someone where coming would happen fast or easily, so we’d take a lot of time. It was really good. Obviously, it wasn’t a perfect relationship; it ended.

She was probably the best sex I ever had. It wasn’t that there was one time; I think it always felt great because of how close I felt to her. Like, we talked about getting married, and that fell through, but there was a strong emotional bond. It always felt different being that close to somebody. I know it sounds weird, but all of our sex almost blends together. It just always felt great.

I’m very light on my kinky side. I’ve got a list of stuff I’ve done with a few women, but it just boils down to do they like it—toys, bondage, anal. But it’s only if she’s like, “This is what I want.” I’ve never been like, “Oh, trust me, you’ll like it,” or “Let’s try it and see how it goes.” I don’t know if it’s the women I end up attracting, but it feels like every woman I’ve been with has been much more on the submissive side. Generally, I’m a very chill, go-with-the-flow guy. I can’t imagine myself with a woman in the bedroom who is like, “Do this right now!”

I think with my ex, the only regret I have is that we had talked about getting more kinky. For a good bit of our relationship, I wasn’t in the most mentally healthy place. I was dealing with family loss, and work was stressful, and then COVID started. Looking back, I think she signaled that she wanted to try more stuff, which I’ve probably done with other girls. I don’t know why I didn’t jump more at it at the time. When I look back at it, I feel like I was probably too depressed, which is part of the story of why we’re not together anymore. We were still having sex; it just felt different. I wasn’t taking care of myself the way I should have. And with COVID, we went a couple of months without seeing each other because we weren’t living together; she was locked up in her apartment. I would say that weighed heavily on it.

After that, when I started dating again post-vaccine, I met a lot of women who didn’t want a relationship. They were like, “I want you to take me on nice dates, treat me well, and have sex.” One of the women I met—it is silly that this should play a part in it, but—she was Swedish and had this very attractive accent. She also had a body type that I’m very attracted to. It was probably the fastest I’ve just hooked up with someone. We met for coffee, and I needed to go back to my apartment to drop something off, and she came with him, and so, like, two hours after meeting each other, we were already having sex. It felt like we were supposed to if that makes sense. It was just insane chemistry. She had an amazing ass, and after a couple of times of having sex, she was like, “Oh, by the way, I really like anal.” And I mean, I wasn’t gonna say no. Later that day or the next time we hooked up, we did it, and she orgasmed from anal. It was very hot. I think we just had a lot of chemistry.

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